Time passes by ..

Time has passed by so fast. Another year, just gone like that. Right now it's currently 1:40, and I'm so tired, but I just don't feel like moving and sleeping. I feel so disappointed at myself especially school wise. I hate how I just can't get anything right in Math. I just want to do well, so badly but I just don't know what I'm doing wrong.

From this day forward, I'm hoping to make some changes:
Eat when getting home;
Homework until 4:30;
Drama until 6:30;
Shower at 6:30-7;
Eat dinner at whatever time my mom's done cooking.
Drama/Study.
SLEEP at 10-10:30,

he's my baby.

So, right now I'm at Benson's house .. and he's SO adorable. After what happened last time, I get so scared to be around him and touch him cause I feel in a way scarred because of what happened, but I shouldn't treat him like he's crazy or something. He's learning how to walk, and when he's in his little walker, it's so cute. He follows you around and he came near me before and started tugging on me. I was so surprised, and I thought it was extremely cute at the same time. He made me smile so much, and he's pretty impatient, so yeah .. when he wants something I wish I could give him anything, but he's still my Baby<3. I can't wait till Benson's baby brother comes along. Hopefully Benson won't try to poke his eye out like he does with the rest of his family.

Summer.

Completed 109hours of volunteer work, and proud :]. Roar, I so do not want Summer to end yet. I totally just don't want to go back to school and see so much people. Summer was peace and quiet and I just don't want to go back to a hectic lifestyle; but either way, we gotta go back sometime, right?

Lalalalaaa ..

Summer so far is going fine, in my opinion. I've gotten a volunteer job, so I feel more stable in a way. It's basically like I know everything that's going on in my life, & I love being able to tell you "Yes I'm able to go out this day, or that day". Another thing, I'm kind of feeling good about is swimming. Finally learning how to swim for the first time, and guess what? - I'm the oldest PERSON in the class. Two students to one teacher, kind of awkward, but I've got to get used to it in order to do my best. Also, I'm kind of focused on is sleeping over at Benson's house. I haven't seen him in over a month or so, so I really want to go over and take care of him :].
- 5 weeks of Summer gone, 7 more to go?
- 1 busy week gone, hopefully 5 more to go.
- 1 class of swimming gone, 9 more to go.

To - Do's

Family, from now on, will always come first.
I don't really care about friends anymore, I don't care about how many friends I make, or how many people like, or hate me. From now on, in school, all I'll do is pay attention, and do all my work without having anyone bother me. I doubt I'll hangout, unless it's with my Baby, or with Tiffany. Saturdays will always be devoted to my Baby, and Sundays, obviously devoted to spending some time with my mom, and maybe cousins/grandpa. School is something I've always been serious about, but I really think that it's something I can't concentrate on. Hopefully, I'll strive to do better, and become a better, more hardworking person by the end of the semester.

To Do list.
----Family/Friends/BABY<3
-- Spend more time with Baby.
-- Spend more time with family.
-- Take more pictures with friends/family.
[Summertime]
-- Spend more time in with Baby, Benson, and family.
-- Sleepover at Linda's & Benson's.
-- Go to beach with Baby & friends?
-- Go to beach with family?

----Schoolwork.
-- Hopefully pass Geometry class with a 70.
-- Just get good enough grades where parents will be proud.
-- Pass regents.

---- What I need.
-- Lose some fat.
-- Have less blemishes.
-- Do more exercise.
-- Play more handball.
-- Buy more clothes ; that will last through summer.
-- Learn how to swim [ parents will take care of that ]
-- Learn how to ride a bike.
-- Work ; maybe?

LIFE .

I'm pretty glad with how things are going in life right now. I have such an amazing family that I love so much. I really think that my family, meaning my grandpa, aunts and uncles should get together more often. I'm really thinking that the next father's day, grandpa's birthday, or mother's day, I just HAVE to take pictures.
I think that the only thing that I'm not so happy about is school. Although I like Tech, how I have "friends" there, I don't feel like I fit in. In 7Th and 8Th grade, I was basically in the same class with the same people, they knew how I was, and they were understanding of me. No one ever doubted me, made me feel stupid or upset me; I never felt like I didn't want to be there. Now at Tech, I don't feel like I fit in, I don't have anyone close to me in class, it's basically like I have no one to talk to. I hope by sophomore year, things won't be the same, but if they are, I'll be wanting to die for the next 3 years.